Two Hours

Now, for all the trash I throw at Matt Rose, there was a time when we were close. Good friends, even. Before the dark times. Before the Empire...

I cannot tell you an exact incident which caused the downward spiral of events which led to this website. But I can give you insight into the devious and evil mind which is Matt Rose.

Several years ago, I and another friend were going to a movie. A speical event for a movie. Yes, we had managed to get into an advance screening of a movie, seeing it before the rest of a nation could see it. We felt proud, we felt good.

Then Matt called. He was in town, he said. What are you guys up to? Oh, can I come along? Sure we said. Matt is cool, this'll be fun we said. How naive we were.

The movie was "The Scorpion King".

Do not see this movie. Do not rent this movie. Don't even talk about this movie without some sort of Environmental Impact waiver. I lost two good hours of my life that night. Sometimes at night I cry.

I don't know how, but I now think that Matt arranged for all of these events to come to pass. He must have used his then-unknown powers to trick us into going to this preview, making us think it was our idea. It's all clear to me now. He said it hurt him to watch this movie too, but that's a lie.

Oh 120 minutes of life, I will avenge thee!